Ending a Relationship

When James and I got to the point where he wanted to move here to be with me things had gone way to far. I talked to my best friend about the decision. I talked to my mother so I would have a story to give her when my husband and I broke up. I talked to James about him coming. See James knew my husband and I were not getting along and pulling away from each other. He felt that he should take his opportunity with me at that time. I went for it hook, line, and sinker.

So I left my husband one morning, packed his bags after he went to work, and then dropped them off at his mother's house. James showed up a few hours later.

~hold up~ What the hell was I doing? Didn't I already know I have this family with my husband. Why in the world was I going to ruin my children's life because I want to be with another man. My husband was not a bad person and did not deserve this treatment. Well, a few hours into my decision I felt regret. This regret was not over James coming. Not at all. James' only problem...ONLY...was that my husband was here first. So James went back home to his side of the US and my husband came back to our home. We saw James a few times around town the day before he left to go back home. My husband tried to kick his ass through a car window. I felt so bad about everything. I felt like I had caused this...which I had.



This is where my "open relationship" ended with my husband. He thought I left him for James and that he had been the original person to ask me to sleep with James so he felt the entire ordeal was his fault. I felt it was mine. So we had a lot of blame in my household but the fingers were not pointed at each other.

This goes back to things I have previously said. If you are going to fall in love that is perfectly okay. However, you need to be strong enough to walk away if that is not your partner. Cheating brings a lot of controversy into a relationship. The last thing you want to do is make it harder on yourself.

Questions

I have received quite a few emails asking me questions regarding sex. Different things from how to get a man to notice you, how to have successful online/phone sex, to how to cheat on their woman/man and hide the evidence. All kinds of different sexual questions. I wanted to note that I will be answering your emails (topic permitting) as well as posting some of the questions on my blog. I feel that some of the things you all asked are questions floating through minds of so many other people.

So feel free to send me any questions you have or comments you would like to share. Then check back to see if your topic was highlighted for my blog. *smile*


Sandy in Arizona writes:

Lina,
You mention going out late or having evening rendezvous with other men. How did you accomplish this with kids and a family? I have a man at work who keeps asking me out for drinks but keeping it from my husband and getting out of the house seems impossible. Any tips you could pass my way?

Sandy,
You mention work which is a key factor and something you need to play up on. I used to "work late"...yes really really really late. I worked at a hospital that was open 24 hours so it was easy for me to say I was covering someone else's shift. I suggest telling your husband that you have meeting"S" that are going to run late for the rest of this week because of a "whatever you make up" project is due. Say the building is having construction so your meetings are having to be held at a hotel or restaurant if you need to cover your tracks. Say you took up a class on pottery/painting/crafts/self help/being a better woman/karate/self defense so you have an excuse to get out of the house a few nights a week. However, getting out isn't the hard part. Coming home with the receipt, cologne, smell of sex/booze, his or her glove in your car...those things are what you really need to be worried about. Plan your actions carefully or they will end up being your last.

The Other Women

During my relationship with James I did not stop talking to every other man on the planet. I was married (supposed to be following the rules) and still talked to old boyfriends. I kept most of this from James as well as my husband. One person who I have briefly mentioned but not introduced as of yet needs to be talked about here. I will get more into depth about JH in another post but there was one incident worth mentioning during my relationship with James that included this other man. JH was the one person in my life who taught me what true love really is. So of course he will always be someone important in my life.

As you know I was developing feelings for James because of all the time we spent together. This meant my other relationships were suffering such as my marriage and past boyfriends. Furthermore, I knew that my past boyfriend JH had moved in with a new woman so I did not want to make trouble. JH and I had met online a few years back and dated briefly but INTENSELY. I left my last husband just to be with JH if that tells you anything about how passionate our relationship was. However, after our heart wrenching breakup and his new woman a few months later I had done almost written him off. So you will be just as surprised as I was when I tell you what happened next.

A month before the incident I asked JH for a video of him masturbating. I sent him one of me in return so it was all fair. *wink* I did not call JH for this request we only emailed and texted each other. I forgot all about this encounter and was concentrating on my own current relationships when out of the blue I get a message on my myspace. This message was full of hate and slander against me and my lifestyle. It was from JH's current live-in girlfriend. I was amazed. I had never had another woman confront me before about what I did with or to their men. I always figured that if he was gonna cheat then the other woman was just kind of shit out of luck. So I was surprised. I did not respond at first but then got a text message from JH's phone from this woman (pretending to be JH) saying not to talk to him anymore. I had no idea what to think.

Of course I ended up lashing out at this woman talking about how my husband knew about my relationship with JH and that we still had phone sex and swapped videos from time to time. That JH was the person who showed me what love really is and that if the man is going to call my sexy ass then I was going to pick up the phone. That she needs to learn how to keep her man in check if she wants to keep him. Stuff like I was here first and I will be here after she is gone. You know...woman cat fight stuff. But..but...but...look at the situation.

Now JH and I talk ...well never. I was fighting over him like I was in high school. I was a married woman with a boyfriend fighting over another man. I mean come on. I felt like I had gotten myself into a situation that was negative for my lifestyle. However, I really didn't care. I loved JH with every fiber of what made me a woman. I felt incomplete without him. Our breakup was hard. It is hard to see him with this other woman (who I might add is not as attractive as I am and he needs to get himself someone better) even though I am married. I got over all those feelings but she brought them right back up years later.

Even now that I am supposed to be being a good girl in my relationship I fantasize about JH. I don't call him and don't respond to his text messages. He is someone who will just always be in my life even if I never talk to him.

Be careful. There are other woman and men out there who will be mad, pissed, and down right come looking for you if you mess around with their men/women. This woman was livid at me for messing with her (MY) man. My husband almost beat James' ass when he realized he moved here and wanted to be with me. I had an ex once slam my lovers head through the drivers side window because I slept with him. Know what you are doing before you actually do it. Be aware that just because you and the other person agree on what is happening does not mean everyone involved will agree. Yes, even though you might never see that other person. If they are with your lover then you are involved with them too. I was lucky to find someone who let me be with other people. Not everyone has that luxury.

So go out and have your fun. Have great sex and even fall in love if that's what you like. (Which is what I like) However, be aware of what might come after your night of fun is over...because that is when real life sets in. Hide what you are doing if it's not okay. Cheating is hard to get away with. I am a master at cheating but it took me years of doing it wrong to get it right.

Many More Times

There were many many more times that James came over to my part of the US to visit me. He always picked me up from my house and we went to a hotel for hot steamy sex all weekend long. Then I would go home to my husband and family. James and I did many things like make videos of us having sex together or of me alone masturbating. We tried every position, hole, and type of sex you can imagine. I was the teacher and he was my student.



I loved having this sexy hot affair with another man. I loved having him want me. Those things made me feel even sexier and more confident about myself than I already am. lol When James and I were not together we would be texting each other all the different sexual things we wanted to try together and do to each other. It fuelled my sexual addiction for sure. I had better sex with my husband even while this was going on. We were open to talk about our sexual desires and fantasies in bed. Since he likes me having sex with other men and I was going out and doing it my husband and I were at one of the sexual peaks of our relationship.

This did not come without trouble though. It is hard to have so much contact with someone and not develop some type of feelings. At least for me. I recommend identifying that up front if you are that kind of person too. This way you already know your going to develop feelings and that you are still not going to leave your significant other. (I mean unless your being abused or happen to stumble across your soul mate and that isn't who you are currently with). Don't let your feelings ruin what your already have. I LOVE to fall in love. LOVE IT!! However, that doesn't mean I don't still love my husband. I will never leave him. He is who I was meant to be with. However, there are so many other men out in this world who want to love me...and I like it. I love every one of those people. I love that you want me as much as I want you. *wink* ...so why don't you come get it?

The First Meeting

So after James had asked me if he could come here to Central America from the East Coast to meet me in person I was really excited. I already knew things had gone to far but I was not going to let that stop me from having a good time. My husband on the other hand was hesitant for a while. After he finally said that I could meet my mystery man James was on his way to my house.

750 miles later, and a few panic attacks from my husband I might add...I was off for the weekend. Now, of course this weekend had rules that needed to be followed. I had to have no feelings, lots of sex, and I had to tell my husband every last little detail. My husband wanted me to come home with my panties full of another man. I politely obliged him.

James pulled up to my house at 4am and I ran out to his car with my bag packed for the weekend in hand. We went to a hotel down the road from my house and spent 2 days and 3 nights together. I found out that my new 22 year old sexy as shit lover was a little on the shy side and he was still a virgin. OMG I almost died. The very first thing I did was to rectify that situation. As soon as we got to the hotel and into that room clothes were flying off and we were in bed. Heck we never left that bed to be honest.

The sex was so good that we made our very own home video with my laptop of us together. (Which I watched over and over I might add.) After our weekend was over and James had to go back to his job and me to my family life I knew that would not be our last encounter. I knew James would be back for more.

My husband was not too pleased seeing me so happy from my little weekend getaway. I tried to keep the details of most of my weekend to myself because like I said earlier things were becoming a little to serious between James and I. So let me give a little bit of advice before I end this blog. A weekend of fun and more fun never hurt anyone right? Well, don't let emotions get involved with sex. I know there are many many people out in this world who would love to know you, have sex with you, and fall in love with you. There is a match for me whenever I look around the corner. You know that old saying that there is always someone out there for YOU...well, I believe that there might be "That One" person, but there are so many others as well that it can be hard to look through all those other men and women to find "The One". If your relationship allows room for someone else then that is great, if not then you need to keep what you are doing under wraps. Do not make waves where there are none.

The Most Current

So I thought that I would start confessing about my very last open relationship with another man besides my husband. Let us call him James for story purposes. I cannot divulge his real name or I might have a lawsuit on my hands for spilling the beans. lol Just kidding, I do not want his privacy violated in any way is all. I am always online looking stuff up, surfing the web, playing games, writing blogs, stuff like that. Well, in one of the games I play online I met this man. I can hardly say man when he was only 22. Our first encounter was quite innocent. The more we started playing together in the game the hotter it began getting. My husband noticed the action and loved it, wanting me to do more. He pushed me into flirting with James because he got off on it.

I would spend a night of talking to James and then go to bed only to realize I was staying up for a few more hours, much to my delight, because my husband was so turned on. I liked this. I liked this very much. I got to talk to and basically be with this other man right in front of my husband and it was okay. Not only was it okay but my husband freaking loved it.

Now, this lasted a month or so before I started talking to James on the phone. After I started talking to him live and in person the relationship between James and I started to shift. Here is this young man....(that is better than man I think)...that is REAL. *sigh* I had a problem. You know that rule of not getting attached? Well, I broke it. I always knew in my heart of hearts that I would never leave my husband, that this relationship was turning into an affair, and that there was not going to be a happy ending now that I had gone this far.



Progressing from the phone we went to having sex over the web cam, while we were on the phone with each other. That was great. I loved watching him and hearing his noises and how much he wanted me. I have to admit that I wanted him just as bed. So bad that my next decision would change my whole life and turn my world upside down. I asked my husband if I could have myself a little weekend of fun... See James had asked if he could drive half-way across the US to meet me in person.

....oh oh oh was I excited. How wet did that make me is really what you want to know I'm sure...*blush* Well, I will tell you that in my next blog. I hope you are finding my confessions interesting. If you have any questions you want answered, comments on my writings, or sexy stories of your own shoot me an email. I will be more than happy to help and post your comments in my blogs.

Until the next time we meet.... xoxoxoxo

Sex Online

Having sex over the Internet...well that seems impossible right? I am here to tell you how to do this and be satisfied. There are a few ways I have tried. First and foremost thing that comes to mind is the written word. Going into a private message room online or using your own personal im service can be a great way to spice up a little romance and get your blood pumping. A little nasty talk never hurt anyone. *blush* After a few minutes of seeing him type how he wants you and what he wants to do with you...well I find it rather sexually appealing. I find my hand down my panties stroking and touching myself before he is even done typing sometimes. This type of online sex can be hard for some people. Not enough emotion, hard to see the other person's sexual desires, and your just reading words on a screen. I can understand this dilemma so let's move onto the next form of online sex I want to tell you about.

Second Life is a free online game where you can get together with people and find places within the game to have sex. This is kind of like the other thing I was just talking about where both of you are still typing but your avatar person in the game is actually having sex. There are places in this game for all different types of sexual encounters. Your wildest dreams and fantasies can come true here. Things I would never do in real life I have done in that game. There are rooms full of other people having sex while you are having sex. You can see what some are typing or you can type in your own private window. Your avatar can be tied over a roasting pit on fire while the other person has sex with you...when I say you can do it all in this game I really mean it. So if you are looking to spice up your relationship or want to try something new for yourself I highly recommend this game.

The final thing I want to tell you about is web cam online sex. This is my most favorite type of sexual encounter over the Internet. I can see you, hear you, watch you, and almost reach out to touch you. I like this. I position my web cam so you can see exactly what I am doing to myself and hear how your making it feel. I want to see you all aroused and ready to blow. I want to hear your noises and know how good you are feeling as well. I love to see a man blow his load...makes me want to reach through the computer screen and lick that off your body. Personally, I have two web cams. One on my laptop that only really points to my face and then another that I can move about. So if you really really want I will set both up and you can have views of whatever you wish. *smile* A web cam has opened up a new world of love making over the Internet.

So if your dating someone online, have a significant other who goes out of town a lot, are looking for a little fun, or want some new spice in your life try these things. ...I think I am overdue for a little lovein online myself now that I think about it. Maybe I will see you there? *blows kisses*